Thursday, January 31, 2008
A couple of tirades and a thank you
1. To the person who made my sandwich: I wish I could have just told you that you are one crazy bitch to your face.
(background):
I asked for just "a little" cheese on my sandwich at Subway and the lady (?) threw a HANDFUL of cheese on it. I thought for about a second (should I say something, should I just take it as it is) but then I got mad, I specifically asked for just a little. Cheese has a tendency to bother my stomach a little. So I said to her "actually I just wanted a little cheese" to which she replied "I gave you only a little cheese"- what I wanted to say "if you consider that to be just a little cheese, maybe that is why you weigh 800 lbs"- instead what I said was "ok well I want less than that"- she huffed like I was wrestling her 8 morning twinkies away from her and just threw out the whole sandwich. I told her she didn't need to throw out the whole thing, just take off some cheese. She told me it was ruined.
Okayyyyyy.
2. To the people I work with: STOP coming in every 5 minutes asking if your paycheck is ready. Guess what, you technically shouldn't get them until tomorrow so the fact that we give them to you today should make you sit and WAIT until I call you to come in and get it!
3. To the 400 lb gorilla: if you complain about Quick books ONE MORE TIME, I am going to stuff you into one of our "machines"- luckily we have an "oversized" one specifically for that.
4. To the funeral director who came in today and farted when he sneezed: I am not sorry for laughing. I feel for you, that was embarrassing but come on, who wouldn't have laughed.
5. To the SOAP channel: THANK YOU SO MUCH for going back to Season 1 of Beverly Hills 90210- I can not tell you how good it feels to watch Brenda and Dylan fall in love all over again.
(background):
I asked for just "a little" cheese on my sandwich at Subway and the lady (?) threw a HANDFUL of cheese on it. I thought for about a second (should I say something, should I just take it as it is) but then I got mad, I specifically asked for just a little. Cheese has a tendency to bother my stomach a little. So I said to her "actually I just wanted a little cheese" to which she replied "I gave you only a little cheese"- what I wanted to say "if you consider that to be just a little cheese, maybe that is why you weigh 800 lbs"- instead what I said was "ok well I want less than that"- she huffed like I was wrestling her 8 morning twinkies away from her and just threw out the whole sandwich. I told her she didn't need to throw out the whole thing, just take off some cheese. She told me it was ruined.
Okayyyyyy.
2. To the people I work with: STOP coming in every 5 minutes asking if your paycheck is ready. Guess what, you technically shouldn't get them until tomorrow so the fact that we give them to you today should make you sit and WAIT until I call you to come in and get it!
3. To the 400 lb gorilla: if you complain about Quick books ONE MORE TIME, I am going to stuff you into one of our "machines"- luckily we have an "oversized" one specifically for that.
4. To the funeral director who came in today and farted when he sneezed: I am not sorry for laughing. I feel for you, that was embarrassing but come on, who wouldn't have laughed.
5. To the SOAP channel: THANK YOU SO MUCH for going back to Season 1 of Beverly Hills 90210- I can not tell you how good it feels to watch Brenda and Dylan fall in love all over again.
Through all kinds of weather....
we'll all stick together..................................for F-L-O-R-I-D-A!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
It all evens out in the end
On my way home from work, I felt like something was wrong at the condo. I even mentioned to my mom, who I was on the phone with, that I hoped the power was on (our building is notorious for losing power)- I just had this feeling that something was not right.
I walked in and the smell hit me right away.
"Listen...do you smell that?" Dan Akroyd- Ghostbusters
Anyhow I ran into the dogs' room and the sight was so pathetic I almost laughed, except I was too busy gagging. Apparently D (jack russell mix) had gotten sick- all over his crate, and himself.
Remember how I mentioned I sometimes take the dogs to work with me, well I took them yesterday and D got into the garbage and all the leftovers of the really "healthy" meals that the guys I work with eat.
I thought we were in the clear because he didn't get sick last night or this morning.
DING! WRONG!
so after I got it all cleaned up and was feeling a bit sorry for myself, my phone rang.
It was a phone call to let me know that my new car had been ordered for me and would be here in as soon as a week!!!!!!
I felt like Jerry Seinfeld (it always evened out for him).
So now I am busy thinking about my new car and lighting all the candles we have in the condo to get rid of the smell.
Goodnight!
Hey 400 lb Gorilla-woman I work with:
IT IS 2008!!!!!!!
Stop bitching about using Quickbooks!
IT IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER- and hopefully, easier to replace you.
Instead of taking all day to type out bill statements on your TYPEWRITER- with Quickbooks, you get to use your mouse to click on "statements" and they print out in about 5 minutes!
If you want to keep using your typewriter or your paper ledger statements, stuff your 400 lb body in a time machine and send youself back to 1972 when you started working here.
I am sick of hearing you bitch and moan about all the new things we are doing at work.
You want to keep your job? ADJUST.
(although I'd rather you just quit).
ok. that was my first official rant on this blog.
Stop bitching about using Quickbooks!
IT IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER- and hopefully, easier to replace you.
Instead of taking all day to type out bill statements on your TYPEWRITER- with Quickbooks, you get to use your mouse to click on "statements" and they print out in about 5 minutes!
If you want to keep using your typewriter or your paper ledger statements, stuff your 400 lb body in a time machine and send youself back to 1972 when you started working here.
I am sick of hearing you bitch and moan about all the new things we are doing at work.
You want to keep your job? ADJUST.
(although I'd rather you just quit).
ok. that was my first official rant on this blog.
Who is JAR?
Of course most of you that read this blog pretty much know all about me- but I am hoping I get some new readers who have no clue who I am, or maybe even reveal something about me that no one knows about.
-I am 30. I have just about come to terms with that age. I realized that I am really no different than when I was in my 20s - I can still keep up with Teets (a younger man)- although he will always out-dance me, I can still beat the Mexican in Silver Strike bowling, I can still start random fights with strangers that dare to put my Florida Gators down...
-I used to be a teacher, then a Reading Specialist, and now I work with helping people get to the next stage in their lives (i.e. I push "the button"...)
-I am orginally from Florida. Yes, I know I went backwards (as people like to tell me all the time)- why would I move from sunny Florida to cold Ohio?! (I don't think I hear this quite enough!!!- arghhh). Well first, other than missing my family, I don't really miss FL at all. I like my hair straight as opposed to a frizzy mess- thanks to the humidity. I don't miss people that drive around who can't see above their steering wheels. I don't miss hurricane-like storms every single f-ing afternoon. (I do kind of miss being near Disney World though, although the last time I was there, I was close to giving a lot of people a one-way ticket to Sugar Island Reef).
I would have basically moved to wherever Teets asked me to go. I happen to love Ohio. I love the weather, I still hope for blizzards daily. I love being near the lake. I love living downtown (more on that later). I just really like the midwest- plus would I really have joined a bowling league living anywhere else???
-I love sports- mainly college football. I am a Gator. I am part of the SEC nation. I date someone who is not. This is a sore spot- mostly for him because, well, he knows why. I listen to Mike and Mike every morning on 850am (used to be an avid Howard Stern listener but then the Sirus switch-a-roo). I love PTI (I am a Tony K fan)- I love Sports Reporters. I have adopted the Browns (never really liked the Dolphins)- I love the Indians (PRONK!) and like going to Cavs games. This is another great thing about Cleveland- even though the luck isn't so great here with sports, there is nothing better than being downtown after the Browns win! (and then watching the Mexican and Teets pass out in the condo at 7pm)
-I hate flying. (see www.takingflight.us) It sucks to hate flying like I do. (*note of interest, I have been sky-diving and LOVED it*) I drug myself until I am basically a huge annoyance to Teets. I pass out and snore and drool on people sitting next to me. I have about a dozen heart attacks when we hit any sort of turbulent air. But I think I am getting better- either that, or I have found the perfect drug combo to really "relax" me.
-I live in an awesome condo downtown with Bill T. If you've read his blog, you know all about it. If you haven't been to it yet, please come visit!!!!! We just got rid of the WORST sleeper sofa ever (aka the concrete bed)- and we are going to buy a new one soon, so please, everyone- come out and visit us. (for all of the "there is nothing to do in Cleveland" whiners- suck it- it is a big city, like any other- there are bars, restaurants, the lake and most importantly- ME!
-I treat our dogs like children. We have a pug and a jack russell mix. I love them a little too much I think. I cry (a lot) every time I have to take them to the kennel. I talk to them (but only because I am positive they understand English)- sometimes I bring them to work because I miss them (and ok, bc this is my blog, I'll be honest- sometimes I bring them to work because I am scared the condo is going to burn down because of the idiot workers there working on it) yes, I am a little crazy. I have a pretty serious neck problem because I let the pug sleep on my head (he's old, I don't want him to be uncomfortable).
-I like beer (Miller light) and I love a delicious cranberry vodka (Bill T. likes to say "bye JAR" when I start drinking them- they make me just a little bit drunk)
-I'm pretty good at indoor cornhole. Except when the Mexican makes us put $ down, then I freeze up and get nervous. (although last time Bill T. and I took him and JB for like $20.)
-I love the LEIC- it's the most fun when they are all together. (it's Bill T. and his PIB friends)
-I am a horrible driver. I admit it. Look at my car. But I may be getting a new car from work. A bigger car. I am a little nervous about it (keeping it dent-free).
well that was just a little glimpse. Time to go back to work (i.e. looking at other people's blogs, and watching the street traffic from my window)
more later!
-I am 30. I have just about come to terms with that age. I realized that I am really no different than when I was in my 20s - I can still keep up with Teets (a younger man)- although he will always out-dance me, I can still beat the Mexican in Silver Strike bowling, I can still start random fights with strangers that dare to put my Florida Gators down...
-I used to be a teacher, then a Reading Specialist, and now I work with helping people get to the next stage in their lives (i.e. I push "the button"...)
-I am orginally from Florida. Yes, I know I went backwards (as people like to tell me all the time)- why would I move from sunny Florida to cold Ohio?! (I don't think I hear this quite enough!!!- arghhh). Well first, other than missing my family, I don't really miss FL at all. I like my hair straight as opposed to a frizzy mess- thanks to the humidity. I don't miss people that drive around who can't see above their steering wheels. I don't miss hurricane-like storms every single f-ing afternoon. (I do kind of miss being near Disney World though, although the last time I was there, I was close to giving a lot of people a one-way ticket to Sugar Island Reef).
I would have basically moved to wherever Teets asked me to go. I happen to love Ohio. I love the weather, I still hope for blizzards daily. I love being near the lake. I love living downtown (more on that later). I just really like the midwest- plus would I really have joined a bowling league living anywhere else???
-I love sports- mainly college football. I am a Gator. I am part of the SEC nation. I date someone who is not. This is a sore spot- mostly for him because, well, he knows why. I listen to Mike and Mike every morning on 850am (used to be an avid Howard Stern listener but then the Sirus switch-a-roo). I love PTI (I am a Tony K fan)- I love Sports Reporters. I have adopted the Browns (never really liked the Dolphins)- I love the Indians (PRONK!) and like going to Cavs games. This is another great thing about Cleveland- even though the luck isn't so great here with sports, there is nothing better than being downtown after the Browns win! (and then watching the Mexican and Teets pass out in the condo at 7pm)
-I hate flying. (see www.takingflight.us) It sucks to hate flying like I do. (*note of interest, I have been sky-diving and LOVED it*) I drug myself until I am basically a huge annoyance to Teets. I pass out and snore and drool on people sitting next to me. I have about a dozen heart attacks when we hit any sort of turbulent air. But I think I am getting better- either that, or I have found the perfect drug combo to really "relax" me.
-I live in an awesome condo downtown with Bill T. If you've read his blog, you know all about it. If you haven't been to it yet, please come visit!!!!! We just got rid of the WORST sleeper sofa ever (aka the concrete bed)- and we are going to buy a new one soon, so please, everyone- come out and visit us. (for all of the "there is nothing to do in Cleveland" whiners- suck it- it is a big city, like any other- there are bars, restaurants, the lake and most importantly- ME!
-I treat our dogs like children. We have a pug and a jack russell mix. I love them a little too much I think. I cry (a lot) every time I have to take them to the kennel. I talk to them (but only because I am positive they understand English)- sometimes I bring them to work because I miss them (and ok, bc this is my blog, I'll be honest- sometimes I bring them to work because I am scared the condo is going to burn down because of the idiot workers there working on it) yes, I am a little crazy. I have a pretty serious neck problem because I let the pug sleep on my head (he's old, I don't want him to be uncomfortable).
-I like beer (Miller light) and I love a delicious cranberry vodka (Bill T. likes to say "bye JAR" when I start drinking them- they make me just a little bit drunk)
-I'm pretty good at indoor cornhole. Except when the Mexican makes us put $ down, then I freeze up and get nervous. (although last time Bill T. and I took him and JB for like $20.)
-I love the LEIC- it's the most fun when they are all together. (it's Bill T. and his PIB friends)
-I am a horrible driver. I admit it. Look at my car. But I may be getting a new car from work. A bigger car. I am a little nervous about it (keeping it dent-free).
well that was just a little glimpse. Time to go back to work (i.e. looking at other people's blogs, and watching the street traffic from my window)
more later!
Birthday of my blog
So happy birthday to my new blog! I've been thinking about doing this for a while- as I have a lot to say about a lot of different things. I hope for those who don't know me, you don't think of me as an angry person or a whiner. I'm just someone who has definite opinions on various things- work, politics, stupid people, tv shows, my family etc...
You might have "met" me before- I am also known as "Allyn" on my boyfriend's blog:
http://billtblogs.blogspot.com/
I love the whole blog world. I'll be honest and say that the first hour I get to work is usually spent reading various people's blogs. I think it's kind of like voyeurism. I have all of these people I "know" who have no idea I "know" them! It's kind of like when I walk the dogs outside of where I live and I "glance" into people's windows just to see how they decorated their condos, or what they are watching on tv, or pretty much just doing in general- I'm not a perv, I swear!
I will try and post a lot bc I know how much I like it when I check on someone's blog and there is a new post! (I'll admit, I refresh Bill T's blog like 40 times a day to see if he has made a new post).
I am also working on learning how to make this blog more personal- adding pictures and stuff.
Ok going to work on that now- it's "slow" at work today....
You might have "met" me before- I am also known as "Allyn" on my boyfriend's blog:
http://billtblogs.blogspot.com/
I love the whole blog world. I'll be honest and say that the first hour I get to work is usually spent reading various people's blogs. I think it's kind of like voyeurism. I have all of these people I "know" who have no idea I "know" them! It's kind of like when I walk the dogs outside of where I live and I "glance" into people's windows just to see how they decorated their condos, or what they are watching on tv, or pretty much just doing in general- I'm not a perv, I swear!
I will try and post a lot bc I know how much I like it when I check on someone's blog and there is a new post! (I'll admit, I refresh Bill T's blog like 40 times a day to see if he has made a new post).
I am also working on learning how to make this blog more personal- adding pictures and stuff.
Ok going to work on that now- it's "slow" at work today....
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