Belated

I forgot to write a special Birthday blog for Dudethatsrad, so here goes...

4-22-08

Happy Birthday Dudethatsrad!!!!
You are now legal in Canada which means.... A TRIP TO PELEE WINERY must happen!
This is the girl for whom I must watch the Hills every Monday night. I could DVR it and watch the Bachelor live instead but then I couldn't text with her back and forth about our favorite West Coast group of friends.
Example: this past episode, I was watching and did not have my phone in my room. When a blast from the past showed up- STEVEN!!- I knew, just knew, that she was having the same reaction as I was- and sure enough when I went to check my phone, there was a text from her voicing the same joy at seeing our old fav. once again.

Although I am not the same age as her, I'm wayyy older (boo hoo)- I still know we have loads in common- she is who I like to belt out songs with (and then listen to the recorded version of us singing to a cell phone- Guster!!)- she is who I instantly forward any celebrity gossip to- she is my brother's BFF (lol)- she is just as "good" of a driver as I am- she makes me laugh and laugh- plus when Bill and I win the lottery and get Island jobs, she is who I would like to work with on the docks (Bill can work inside the Boardwalk, I want to mentor under Dudethatsrad outside on the gas docks).

She is also the one who completely understands that she did not get a birthday card (yet) bc of my stupidity (I dropped it in our mortgage payment box instead of the postal box- we were about to go to the airport, you all know my brain turns mushy on flying day!)

I'm just really really glad that Bill has the COOLEST younger sister (other than my own blood sister, maybe a tie?) in the world!!!! I can't wait to share more summer Island stories with you Dudethatsrad!!


Happy Birthday (again)!!!

Trying again

but I am fuming as I type bc I ALREADY WROTE ALL OF THIS ONCE.
this is when I want to go Office Space style on the computer- but instead of a bat, I'd throw it in the retort and watch it burn...

ok. breathe.

You, Me, Dupree-
LOVED IT- but really only for Owen Wilson, I don't know what it is, but similar to Vince Vaughn he makes me dork laugh. I'm glad he didn't commit suicide- we need him in movies...

Golf Carts-Bill and I are going to buy a golf cart for the Island. Long story short it will make our lives less complicated even though we will probably rarely use it. Is it bad to get a golf cart so you can go to one specific bar (Joe's) or a winery?
:)
Anyhow I found a dealer on Craigs List Cleveland and Bill and I have been corresponding with him about prices and such. This morning the man, Dave, emailed me with some pictures of carts we might be interested in.
The debate: gas vs. electric
We even already have a license plate picked out. Has to do with LEIC, that's all I will say for now.
So I get the email this morning from Dave. I guess the "joke" was on me bc he had included some tricked out Buckeye carts and ended his email with "Go Buckeyes!"- hmm... Dave? I think we should have a 41% discount off the cart...I'll even take a 14% discount...
SUCK IT BUCKS!

So this morning Bill and I ended up leaving for work at the same time. This rarely happens so I was just happy to have some extra time being able to look at him all dressed up for work.
He looks very handsome today!
:)
In the elevator on the way down to the parking garage he tells me that sometimes he takes the stairs down. I asked him why and he launched into a monologue about his theory on the timing schedule of our elevators. I didn't laugh (on the outside) but just listened and asked him to write a blog on it bc the full detail that he would give, I can't retell in the same Bill-OCD-style.

Gym stuff:
So this morning before work I am in the gym. I like going early in the morning bc I can get it over with for the day, and it is usually less crowded.
I guess about 4 other people have the same idea as me bc I typically see the same 4 people.
A couple
A girl
The weird transie guy/ trainer who lives on our floor
Sometimes Bill

So this morning it was just me in there for most of my workout. At some point (I don't know what time it was as I don't look bc that makes it harder for me to work out, I don't know why- I guess maybe bc then I see how much longer I have to sweat it out in there)- the man of the afore-mentioned couple comes in. I guess him to be in his late 20s. He is married. His wife is fairly thin and has a HUGE diamond ring bc I get blinded by it when she is working out next to me- anyhoo- this morning it was just him.
I was not happy when he came in bc I like being there alone, so I can sing out loud when I want to... "she's just bein Miley"...
He gets on the treadmill and the story begins.
I'm guessing his workouts have caused him to lose some weight- great for him!
but hey guess what- that might mean your gym shorts are too big now!!!
So I am on the eliptical machine kind of behind him and I think I saw his ass crack about 12 times.
Hairy ass crack.
Hi sir? It's 6 something in the morning- I'd rather be in bed but I got up early to work out- I hate working out- but mostly right now- I HATE LOOKING AT YOUR ASS CRACK.

Starting with

I just want to say I wrote a really long blog just now about stuff and it got messed up and now I am SUPER PISSED OFF.

When I get a chance...

-You,Me, and Dupree
-Bill's elevator theory
-The Hills
-vacations
-gym talk
-golf carts

50 minutes till I get to leave

wow. maybe my mom's defunct eye genes are good for me after all...

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/04/25/lasik.surgery.ap/index.html

No LASIK for you!

So thanks to the wonderful genes I inherited from my mom- I am not a good candidate for LASIK eye surgery.
My mom has/had some cornea condition that required her to have a cornea transplant.
I can see dead people.....
Plus she gets to wear this really "neat" eye patch every night! Arrrrrr I'm a pirate!
Anyhoo I have a chance to also have the same condition so my eye doc. said "n-o" to LASIK.
So boo hoo bc I was actually looking forward to smelling the burning flesh of my eyeballs.
:(

Judge JAR

Ok so if I am the judge in this case- I give the man jail time but BEFORE jail- I sit him outside and shoot him in the neck with a BB gun.
Multiple times.
At close range.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-flbduck0424sbapr24,0,2804579.story

WTF?????????

Report: D-Wade dating Star Jones
Posted: Thursday April 24, 2008 07:03AM ET
Star Jones, reportedly dating Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade, has filed for a divorce from her husband of about three years, Al Reynolds.

Song of the day

in my head....

Time is waiting
We only got 4 minutes to save the world
No hesitating
Grab a boy
Grab a girl
Time is waiting
We only got 4 minutes to save the world
No hesitating
We only got 4 minutes, 4 minutes

Lazy JAR

so I was supposed to be getting back here to expand on our trip to NYC but no one can say it better than my Teets!
http://billtblogs.blogspot.com/2008/04/where-in-world-is-bill-teets.html

so I will figure something else I can smack talk about.

p.s. I double the shout-out thanks to Nutmeg Girl- we really had a great time!

That looks familiar!!

oh yeah and I saw some art that for some reason reminded me of a gorilla I work with...

So I remember

To expand on later today...
Highlights of NYC trip...
-Empire State Building- seen it, done it, won't do it again any time soon- 2 hours in line seems a bit redonkulous.
-McSorley's Pub- ahhhh dark beer, great times
-Flying to NYC
-Food- lots and lots of food (Brunch, Steak Dinner, Pizza, Japanese food)
-Palm Beer
-Quality time with Nutmeg Girl
-Foot massager!!!!!!!!
-Ichiban (the beer and what happened everytime Teets yelled that word)
-Rooftop at AngryJohnny's/Nutmeg Girl's apt

Blubber

So the weather is warming up finally- but not until this AFTERNOON!!
The 400 lb. gorilla has all the windows open and the heat off.
I am still wearing my coat.
Hey- maybe if you dropped, oh...say...350 lbs, you would understand that when you don't have an elephant's weight worth of fat to keep you warm, it's actually still rather chilly outside.

In a little bit of a hurry...

My computer sucks a$$ so it is being taken from me today to get fixed (that was the option chosen vs. me going "Office Space" style to it with a baseball bat)

-read Bill's blog about what I did last night.
-going to NYC this weekend- very excited about that
-Cops are at my work right now to burn some drugs and paraphernalia (if you know what I do, you'll understand this)
-My mom is now VP of her condo board- yes, think Seinfeld style.

I'll try and post more later if I can get access to a computer- which actually tears spring to my eyes when I think about a day at work without my computer.

:( frown

That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old....

Oh and one more shout out: to SNL (this past weekend with Ashton Cutcher)-
FUNNY AS ALL HELL!!!!

for real, try and look for some of the skits on youtube or on SNL's website...

Getting reaquainted with my brain

Highlights of this past weekend:
-Sucking down countless CVs (cranberry vodka)- bye bye JAR
-making pizza at the Brewery and watching Teets HOUSE free pepperoni (the bartender "P" had to ask him to please save some for the bar)
-having a conversation with Teets re: "intimacy" and taking on a new last name (read into that as you may lol) (reminder: JAR on about 4 or 5 CVs at this point)
-Andre (I think that is what Teets calls him) showing me that yes, I do have the automatic start function on my car, and how to use it- THANK YOU! (this was somewhat embarrassing for me as I pointedly told him I did not have it)
-The Winery being opened SPECIFICALLY for us- it was worth it (for them) our group likes wine. Go Winos! "Coinicidentally, it was at the winery I said goodbye to Bill and welcomed Teets with open arms- Teets made an early appearance that day)
-PROM- hmmm, overall it was fun. Teets was the best dancing scarecrow this Wicked Witch has ever seen. (although at the end of the night, the scarecrow was having a hard time keeping his pants up while dancing in the middle of the bar)
Rob Deer was a very "sexy" Wizard of Oz (thanks to his glittery green bowtie)- TNash was a great Dorothy (she wins the shortest skirt award!)- and the rest of the "P crew (Capt D's last name)" looked great as well- we did win the Best Group Contest- although our prize of "jack shit" wasn't all too great. Mostly Teets and I decided that there was no way in hell it was worth $25 and we are not sure we will go again. Prom Queen and King was rigged (the theme was Wizard of Oz, the prom king/queen dressed up as Scottish people- and that should win because..... *(crickets chirping)....."
-Thanks to Captain D for making us a delish breakfast- JAR can not say no to tator tots...ever!
-I think I ate at least an entire Cameo's pizza pie- there really is nothing better (especially after an afternoon of drinking wine topped with Champagne"
-Keel doing 10 shots of wine (hopefully there will be a youtube video posted soon)


After we got back to Cleveland and I dozed off for a few hours- we watched the end of the Masters (Jim Nantz made me cry, I am ashamed)- and then we decided to try and respark some brain cells by watching an HBO miniseries called "John Adams"- this was part 6 and I must say, I am hooked. I even got on the computer during it to refresh my American History memory.
Did you know John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, lifelong friends, died on the very same day within hours of each other? See? I can still drink it up all weekend and still be able to retain stuff!

Stuff I will blog about when I get a chance

-RHB Prom, including but not limited to:
the best looking scarecrow ever, the sexiest wizard of Oz, Prom King/Queen being rigged, $25 wayy overpriced
-New miniseries we are into
-Winery being opened just for us
-making our own pizza

and more.
Be on the look out!!!

When I am hungry

it's best not to mess with me.
example:
3pm I just went to get some lunch at Subway.
I am uber hungry but this was the first chance I got today to run out.
I am the only customer in there as it is pretty late in the day.
An employee is standing there making a sandwich.
I look at her.
She looks at me and continues making the sandwich.
She yells out "Customer!"
no one comes out.
I am still standing there .
again "Customer!!!"
again no one comes out.
Since no one else was in the place, I asked her if the sandwich was for her.
"yes"
hmmm ok, hungry JAR, not a good response.
"So when a customer comes, you don't stop making your lunch to make mine? I guess that's why you have to wear a visor to work and I don't."
Exit JAR

My "brush" with fame

Yesterday I went to have my hair cut/colored.
It's a long process but that's ok with me because I really like my hair stylist, Holly.
After she had put the color in my hair, she sent me over to the processing chair (you sit under some heat lights for a while)- but before she sent me to the next chair she told me that Derek Anderson, Cleveland Browns QB, would be coming in to have his hair cut by her.
I thought that was pretty cool.
I texted everyone I knew who would care about this.
Examples of responses I received:
80sBand: "Punch him for blowing the bengals game. And for getting his hair cut where you do."
Rob Deer: "Get me his cell number! We will drunk dial him!"
AngryJohnny: "Ask him why he blew the cinci game!"
Balls Deep: "Tell him he should have been on the fins"
MommyTeets: "Too bad it wasn't Brady"
and then DudethatsRad and I had multiple texting back and forth discussing what I should do with him sitting right next to me.
He commented on my mowhawk (my hair lady likes to have fun with my hair when it's all goo-ed up with the color)- I told him "that's how I roll"- and that was that.
It was exciting though.
I would never have known who he was if she had not told me.

If it had been Tim Tebow? I bet you that mall security would have been called.
"That's how I roll"

p.s. "brush" with fame...get it?!
:)

OCD and apples

Most who read this blog, know Bill.
Most who know Bill know that he can be a little detail-oriented at times.
Those who know "Teets" and not Bill, might not know this side.
The detail-oriented-ness comes out quite strong at various times- bordering on OCD.
Last night was an example.
Bill and I were laying on the couch. Lots of times we like to lay together and have some nice cuddle time with the doggies, but at this moment we were on separate couches.
Bill on one.
JAR and dogs on the other.
We have a coffeet table. It sits in front of the couch where Bill was sitting.
If I am sitting alone on the other couch, I have no problem/trouble reaching over to get something off of the coffee table. When the dogs are with me, it makes it hard to reach because I don't like disturbing my little- precious-heaven sent angels.
I casually asked Bill if we could move the coffee table over a bit so that it was closer to my couch.
PAUSE
PAUSE
PAUSE
Bill looked at me like I just asked him to eat a piece of dog shit.
His eyes got wide, I think he even got a little flushed.
Moving the coffee table closer to my couch meant that it would no longer be sitting exactly centered in relation to the other couch.
This is not good.
for OCD Bill.
I started laughing because I could see how upset the suggestion made him. I'm not saying I laugh at Bill's unhappiness- bc I don't. But I do laugh when the poor boy gets so upset by things like furniture being out of the perfect order he placed it in.
So the coffee table stayed where it was.


Yesterday when we got home from work we tried on our Prom outfits. Mine was very simple but Bill's made me snot laugh.
I'm hoping to get some pictures posted after the big event.
Speaking of the big event- aka Prom- Bill and I were told over the past weekend that there was an entry fee to attend.
$25
This seems super steep and Bill and I had a long discussion about how ridiculuous that was.
-where does that $ go towards?
-if we got a substantial # of free drinks maybe it would make more sense
-if they didn't charge us the $25 and then $4 a beer once we got in, that would be more sensible as well.
But we're talking about RHB mentality so who knows.

Speaking of RHB mentality and charging us to get in the bar- that leads me to another fond memory.
One night, I think it was last year, the whole LEIC was in attendance up at the Bay.
It was some special night or event at the RHB and they were charging people to get in.
Here is an aside- Bill Teets does not like to pay to get into any bar on the Island.
RHB usually charges a cover that we bypass by signing a sheet that says we work on the Island.
Billy still works at the Boardwalk and I am his guest.
My favorite is when 80sBand signs in by writing he is still working at the dock on MBI.
Anyhow- we get up to the front of the line and they tell us that everyone has to pay- EVERYONE!
Oh no- wrong thing to tell Bill F-ing Teets- especially after hours of pounding drinks.
Everyone else in the LEIC complied, paid, and went inside.
We (Bill) didn't want to do that.
So we walked over to the Fishbowl and complained about it over some free drinks served by our favorite DH.
The we decided it was a good idea to go back to the RHB and try it again.
Nope- thank you!
We gave it one more shot by trying to go in the back way.
There was a bouncer back there. A total cocksmooch/deuchsbag looking guy.
He was busy handling some other drunk trying to get in and ignoring us. We started to walk into the entrance when I spotted a bucket of apples.
What seems silly to me now, seemed like a very good idea at the time. I decided to pick up an apple and hurl it as hard as a could into the parking lot. I think I might have wanted to see it smash- who knows, I blame Vodka Cranberry for that decision.
The bouncer guy promptly averted his attention from the poor drunk bastard to me.
He started yelling, I started yelling, and the next thing I knew we were headed back to the Fishbowl- home sweet home.
we never made it into the RHB.
I hope they don't have apples at Prom.

You like apples?
I got kicked out of sneaking into the RHB- how you like them apples?!!!!

A Comparison

JAR:
Elliptical Machine
35 minutes
Level 3
Kept RPM over 82 (kinda fast)

400 lb Gorilla I work with:
Walking from front door to her desk (approx. 25 feet or so)

Comparison of shortness of breath: the same

Update

1:00pm Diarhea explosion JAR gives Dailey a HEAPING spoonful of more Kaopectate.

When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst....

2:02 am JAR bolts from bed and sees diarhea ALL OVER OUR ROOM...AGAIN!
2:05 Bill takes Dailey out, JAR cleans mess
2:05-3:10am JAR/Bill clean, find more mess in the bathroom, and do a load of laundry
6:30am JAR walks/feeds dogs
7:00am JAR finds more diarhea in spare bedroom and gets to use the Kirby for the first time!
9:00am JAR goes to check on dogs (at work) and finds, yes you guessed it, more diarhea
9:30am JAR returns to work after bolting out to CVS to buy Kaopectate
9:31am JAR pours above mentioned Kaopectate into mouth of dog
10:28am JAR about to go check on dogs again, pulse rate elevated for fear of discovering more diarhea.

Dolla Dolla Bill Ya'll

latest song in my head...

See I’mma tell you
like WU told me
Cash Rules everything around me
Singin’ dollar dollar bill yall
(dollar, dollar bill yall)
Singin’ dollar dollar bill yall
(dollar, dollar bill yall)
See I’mma tell you
like WU told me
Cash Rules everything around me
Singin’ dollar dollar bill yall
(dollar, dollar bill yall)
Singin’ dollar dollar bill yall
(dollar, dollar bill yall)

Thoughts at 8:02am

1. NIT hopes of crushing OSU for the third time crushed. UMass stepped up and beat us (whoever "us" is, I don't think I know one player's name this year). So ok, we'll give you 66th place and keep taking first when we can.

2. Dailey + any food that isn't his food = lots of diarhea to clean up at 6am.

Hoping the rest of the day gets better.....

BIG NIGHT TONIGHT!!!

NIT Final Four!!!!!

The goal:

Happiness in my Inbox

Miller Ferries to Put-in-Bay begins Wednesday, April 2nd and will start at 8:00 a.m. leaving Put-in-Bay and 8:30 a.m. leaving Catawba.