I am currently in a state of detox right now.
I think eating Cameo's pizza everyday, sometimes twice a day, has a little something to do with how horrible I feel right now.
Highlights of the weekend.....
-My kidneys should be doing just great due to the amount of cranberry juice (oh yeah and vodka) I consumed.
-RobDeer's dad's breakfast potatoes
-RobDeer's dad's hat with a ponytail attached to it
-debating college football with RobDeer's dad
-RobDeer's dad- 'nuff said.
-cornhole at Middle Bass (why can't PIB ever beat MBI?!)
-the # of jorts that Bill T., Nutmeg Girl and I saw walking back to the boat on MBI
-"Do you guys have an extra bowl?"
-MBI dock guy: He is a registered sex offender. Did he get arrested? No. Is there any proof? No. But he and 80sBand have a "special" relationship? Yes.
-RobDeer: another weekend of "greatness"- THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! I am still working on getting the surveliance video from Cameo's pizza.
Backflip? check
The Worm? check
Sweating 5 lbs off? check
Rolling around in gravel after attempting to start a fight? check
Biting Teets? check
Going to buy some advil and returning with poppers, streamer poppers, and pop rocks? check
Drinking out of a shoe? check
Hanging out in a hotel with some L-E-A-Ks? check (oh no you di'int)
Calling people's cell phones while they are 3 ft away from you sleeping in the same garage? check
*Note to self- no more Red Bull for RobDeer after 11pm- perhaps this will allow him to pass out a bit earlier vs. talking to himself until 5am and then waking up at 8am to continue talking. SEC girls- what?!!!
-PM- DONE! after a day of drinking, a night of shots, some dancing, a couple of inappropriate jokes (including a GREAT Korean one), a stint on stage with Ray Fogg- he was a pile of shit the next day at the Winery. I think he threw up about 20 times?
-80sBand's bloody foot
-Brooke: "I want him to WANT to do the dishes"- I am right there with you.
-Cornhole and some more Cameo's at Capt. D's grandparents house.
Mrs. Capt D: you are drunk and you were slurring your words
Capt. D: really? I feel ok
Cut to Capt. D yorking in his backyard about 20 minutes later.
-Angry Johnny's pout fest at Cameo's pizza bc he was concerned that RobDeer would find us -oh yeah- he did find us. (see "falling into gravel while trying to start a fight" on the walk home)
-Dancing at the Brewery- RobDeer slipping and falling about 8 times (100% due to the drinks he spilled all over the dance floor)
-Teets and JAR walking back and forth from The Brewery and the Fishbowl about 7 times in about an hour.
-A perfect day at the Winery- Wine Flip Cup- Being loud and rowdy- Seeing way too many girls in way too short of shorts (was that a panty liner sticking out of her a$$?)
-Dailey eating a slice of pizza and throwing it up whole- (the fact that pizza is part of a lot of highlights makes me sick- I am swearing off pizza for about 7 months...or until the next late night I am up at PIB)
-I don't think I like sausage sticks in my Bloody Mary's
-Seeing Pat Dailey and Ray Fogg and paying zilch. Watching Rob Deer try and do the same and being quickly escorted out- priceless.
-Nutmeg Girl's excellent retelling of the worst girl ever to be a part of a Bachelorette party- and a great picture of Debbie Downers "I hate life" face. Nutmeg girl is really the official LEIC photographer- she gets great shots and videos of 80sBand rapping and Teets dancing.
-Teets doing a shot of all the alcohol that falls into those black plastic bar mats. It was gross- I think he got a free beer out of it.
-Using our golf cart (even though it technically is not street legal yet) exactly how we intended to: leaving it at the dock all day and driving it out to the winery and Joe's bar.
-Basically sticking to one street of bars (the west side)- Brewery, Fish Bowl, Oddfellows- repeat.
(and lucky for us Cameo's pizza is located there as well- notice a pattern? I just threw up in my mouth)
-Making our cornhole beanbag set complete once again bc Bill T. was smart enough to steal one for us! :)
-Making 80sBand my bar bowling personal b*tch.
-80sBand's "hot" mustache
-The Skull shirt making an appearance but then going back into the closet bc it has been "retired"- oh yeah- see the RobDeer list of "greatness"...
I know there are other things I have missed.
Feel free to add.
I have the shakes- good thing my customers don't need "steady" hands!
Another great time this weekend LEIC people- miss you all already!
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6 comments:
I am currently in the process of "re-evaluating" my behavior and have made some resolutions:
1) No hard liquor or shitty wine (except Mad Dog) ever again.
2) No red bull ever again.
2a) Max of 50 beers per night.
3) Since I started smoking with "Gary Payton" on Saturday, stop smoking.
4) No talking.
5) Max of 5 "Nittany Lions" per year.
6) No more fighting, intimidating people or "being disorderly."
7) No visits to Cameos ever again.
8) No backflips or worms.
9) No more "being creepy"
10) No more biting friends
11) Never having my mom tell me "you sure talk a lot don't you."
12) No more calling TNash drunk at 4am while she is working at the hospoital- 12 times.
13) Make sure that I don't owe 50+ people apologies after EVERY night of partying.
14) No drunk texting.
15) Win Teets back as a friend.
16) No more conversations with police officers.
17) No more breaking watches.
18) No more "carbon-paper" citations. EVER again.
19) No more calls to lawyers to fight tickets to keep my squeaky clean record intact.
20) No more "having to re-evaluate things" after every weekend at the lake.
21) Better quality frestyle rapping- 80s band and angry johnny remember new orleans and what is possible.
22) No more feeling like I might actually die someday from being "overserved."
Other suggestings? Sorry and thank you for not killing me (althgouh I know you wanted to).
Best Regards (the new, improved)
Rob Deer
oh Rob Deer- this was FILARIOUS! (f-ing hilarious)
We all still love you! (even Teets!)
I am just glad you didn't rule out back-flips- that was amazing!!
LOL
I am sorry, but backflips and worms (especially ones where I hit my chin on the floor) are out (see #8).
Rob Deer
i get it. you like to drink A LOT.
I actually didn't drink all that much.
As Bill T. commented...no blackouts for us this time.
You'd think I was growing up or something....
I have noted some key words to consider a name change from Rob Deer to Mickey Mantle appropriate for the "new me". Includes: swinging for the fences (ie TNash) and party times.
R. Deer
Mickey Mantle:
The most popular star on baseball's most successful team, Mickey Mantle came to the Yankees in 1951 with incredible speed and power. But a childhood bone disease and repeated bad luck kept him from reaching his full potential. Even so, he was baseball's best switch-hitter and slammed a record 18 World Series home runs. And he brought a special attitude to baseball as well. He always swung for the fences, even when a single would have won the game. And off the field, he lived as if it were always party time. But whatever he did, the fans loved him, and by the time he retired in 1969, the name Mickey mantle stood for all the glamour and excitement of the game.
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